Domino Lady: Sex As a Weapon

After the murder of her DA father, beautiful socialite Ellen Patrick dons a white dress, black cape, and black domino mask to fight crime as the Domino Lady. Despite not a lot of original material, the Domino Lady has become one of the most iconic characters in pulp fiction. In Domino Lady: Sex As a Weapon, eight authors write all-new stories about Domino Lady's adventures. Her adventures also give her opportunities to team up with other pulp icons such as the Phantom, Airboy, the Black Bat, and even Sherlock Holmes.

The collection begins with K.G. McAbee's "The Domino Lady and the Crimson Dragon". An Asian girl escapes from a white slaver boat and by a lucky string of fate, runs into the Domino Lady, who agrees to help rescue the other girls on the ship. This was pretty standard fare, although quite enjoyable as Domino Lady had to use her wits (and her physical assets, naturally) to take on a large group of adversaries.

C.J. Henderson resurrects the Black Bat to help Domino Lady foil more white slavers in "Blondes in Chains". This took more of a sci-fi bent, and the resolution was a bit contrived.

Not content with Domino Lady working with the police, Bobby Nash frames Domino Lady for murder in "Target: Domino Lady". Again, Domino Lady is forced to use her brains to prove her innocence and bring the real murderer to justice.

Chuck Dixon teams Domino Lady with Airboy in "Stealing Joe Crick". I've never found Airboy very compelling, and he's more or less useless in this story. I had some higher expectations from Dixon, but with Airboy, he didn't have much to work with.

Ron Fortier presents a dumb little tale called "The Claws of the Cat" about some idiotic cat-nappers (yes, really). If this had been played more for laughs, I might have liked it more, but played straight, it was just silly.

Conjuring the spirit of Sir Arthur Conan Doyle, Nancy Holder presents a tale of Sherlock Holmes teaming up with Domino Lady in his late years. While the plot wasn't anything spectacular, the scenes between Holmes and the Domino Lady were rather enjoyable and provided a lot of entertainment in the couple's banter.

James Chambers's contribution, "The Devil, You Know" was probably my favorite story in the collection. An underworld contact betrays her and Domino Lady finds herself aboard a yacht of Satanists with her identity fully exposed.

Martin Powell finishes out the book with "Masks of Madness", where Domino Lady washes adrift on the Phantom's island. Normally, this wouldn't have been too bad of a story, but the decision was made to reveal the killer of Owen Patrick and end with Domino Lady getting her revenge. This denouement fell a bit flat to me, and I think a revelation that was more conventional would have been more suitable to the character.

As with all anthologies, some of the stories are better than others, but overall, all of the stories were fun reads and maintained the proper tone of the pulps. I would've like solo stories more than the team-ups, but that's really more of a personal preference.


Available at Amazon.com, Barnes & Noble, Books-A-Million, Things From Another World, and Moonstone

Title: Domino Lady: Sex As a Weapon
Editor: Lori Gentle
Authors: K.G. McAbee, C.J. Henderson, Bobby Nash, Chuck Dixon, Ron Fortier, Nancy Holder, James Chambers, Martin Powell
Year: 2009
Pages: 222

My Fake War

In a dystopian near-future, Saul Dressing's evening is interrupted to discover his forty-something, overweight ass has been drafted. Given no training, only a gun that can do everything, he is air-dropped into a desert country he's never heard of with orders to declare war on the population. Now, if he could only find someone...

From the way it started out, I was expecting a satire of the current U.S. geopolitical situation. The United States of Everything declaring war on every nation on earth provides a perfect analog to the U.S. government's policy in recent years to engage in as many
warskinetic military actions as it can handle. However, once you get past this bit of irony, the book goes nowhere quickly and resulted in a completely anticlimactic dud of an ending.

This is a trend I'm seeing in the four bizarro novellas I've read: The author comes up with a few unique, creative, and weird ideas, expands on these a bit, but then has no idea what to do with the actual plot, so s/he just rushes out an ending to finish the tale. This probably explains why most bizarro novels run in the 75–150 page range. I guess it comes down to whether or not you're a fan of the genre. If you are, then you'll probably love this book. If not, well... you probably won't be too surprised.

Available at Amazon.com, Barnes & Noble, and Books-A-Million.

Title: My Fake War
Author: Andersen Prunty
Year: 2010
Pages: 112

DEAD(ish)

I loved B&N's description of the book:

Linda's had a bad day. First her boyfriend killed her. Then she woke up, still on this boring plane of existence, and with an odd obsession about her missing body.

It turns out Linda can't cross over until she gets reunited with her body. Because she doesn't know where it is, and her boyfriend Mike isn't telling, Linda starts playing cruel pranks on Mike while hiring a P.I. to track down her missing body.

Told from a rotating first-person point-of-view, the plot takes a few twists and turns, including an improbable love quadrangle(?) between Linda, Mike, and the gay couple next door.

The best part of this book is the mischief Linda commits against Mike. The plot itself takes some completely improbable turns, and the ending is completely forgettable. In addition, the dialog is entirely too expletive-laden and distracts from the message being conveyed.

If you've got a NOOK or the NOOK software, you can get this book for free from the Barnes & Noble link above. Amazon is charging only 99¢ for the Kindle version. I don't believe the book exists in hard-copy format. Frankly, that's about what this tale is worth.

Title: DEAD(ish)
Author: Naomi Kramer
Year: 2009
Pages: 100

Bloodfeud: The War of the Fang

Around 1000 A.D., a group of exiled Scotsmen lands on German shores. Deciding they didn't want to travel all the way to uninhabited lands, they find a developing barony and begin raiding the populace. The baron fights back, and each skirmish escalates the level of atrocity committed against the other party. Finally, the two parties draw the wrath of God and both are cursed into becoming creatures of the night. At this point, the fight is taken to an all-new level.

This book is a little slow getting started, taking a lot of time to set up the Scots' presence in Germany and the pre-curse violence. However, once the transformations occur, it turns into a pretty good (although somewhat predictable) vampires vs. werewolves story. The author blurb indicated this is a prequel to a series Fackler has in mind and reads as such.

The speech was a little too modern for the 10th Century, but this may have just been an attempt to keep the book easy to read. However, the characters are fairly well-developed and the personalities of each show through, despite there being a lot of characters for a sub-300-page book.

This is a light, fun read and is worth your time even if it doesn't tread any new ground.

Available at Amazon.com and Barnes & Noble.

Title: Bloodfeud: The War of the Fang
Author: Jason Fackler
Year: 2010
Pages: 280

361

Recently discharged from the Air Force, Ray Kelly and his father spend some time in New York City. One day, as they're driving down the road, some men pull alongside and open fire. Ray wakes up in the hospital with only one eye, a stiff ankle, a dead father, and a chip on his shoulder. Discovering his sister-in-law was also killed recently, Ray recruits his brother into a scheme of revenge that takes a wicked twist when they abduct the man who they thought orchestrated the attacks.

Westlake is well-known for his easy-reading style. It takes nearly no effort to read this book, and you'll be surprised how many pages you can flip through in an hour. However, Westlake's trademark twists keep the reader guessing throughout the entire story.

Considering this is one of Westlake's earliest books, it doesn't quite have the polish of his later work. If you're a fan of the Hard Case Crime novels or just hard-boiled crime/detective fiction in general, you'll enjoy this book.

Available at Amazon.com, Barnes & Noble, and Books-A-Million.

Title: 361
Author: Donald E. Westlake
Year: 1962
Pages: 208

Charmed: Season 9, Volume 1

I didn't get this for myself, mostly because I was beginning to hate the series towards its end. (If you've got some time, go to Television Without Pity and read their recaps. I pretty much echo their sentiments.) However, my girlfriend liked it, so I got this as a gift for her and then just read it after she finished it.

A year (or thereabouts) after the Season 8 finale, all three witches now have kids, some who are already demonstrating their powers. Meanwhile, a pair of demons is working behind the scenes to resurrect the Source of All Evil (yes, again).

The story is pretty standard Charmed, following the pattern and pacing of most episodes, where the immediate problem is cleanly solved once a certain hurdle is jumped, and the season-wide plot advances in the background. The dialog isn't bad, but a lot of the attempts at humor fall flat.

The art is a mixed bag. While the actual quality of the art degrades as the book goes on, the distinctions between the characters become more obvious. I realize comic book work can't mirror the individual actors all the time, but each person has some distinct visual features (Rose McGowan's chin, Alyssa Milano's eyes and smile, etc.), and the artist needs to bring those out so the reader doesn't have to rely on the dialog to identify who's in the panel.

If you legitimately liked the series and can get past the artwork, this will probably appeal to you. If you weren't a fan or lost interest in the series, there isn't much here to justify bringing you back in.

Available at Amazon.com, Barnes & Noble, and Books-A-Million.

Title: Charmed: Season 9, Volume 1
Authors: Paul Ruditis and Raven Gregory
Artists: Dave Hoover, Marcio Abreu, and Milen Parvanov
Year: 2011
Pages: 144

The End of the Night

Told in almost reverse chronological order, The End of the Night tells the tale of four youths (called the "Wolf Pack" by the media) travelling from Mexico to New York who decided to embark on their own mini-murder spree. Eventually, the Wolf Pack is caught, tried, and executed for their crimes.

Stephen King, Dean Koontz, and Spider Robinson have highly praised MacDonald's work and listed him as one of their favorite authors. Stephen King went as far as to say: "John D. MacDonald has written a novel called The End of the Night which I would argue is one of the greatest American novels of the twentieth century. It ranks with Death of a Salesman, it ranks with An American Tragedy."

Fans of police procedural television shows would likely enjoy this book, as the facts of the story are presented in a very straightforward manner. Because the first chapter deals with the Wolf Pack's executions, there isn't much surprise to the story. However, the most educated member of the Wolf Pack, Kirby Stassen, recounts much of his experiences, and the transition from a group of ne'er-do-wells into a murderous quartet seems like a natural progression.

The plot and tone do show their age somewhat, but it's still an entertaining read. If you enjoy true crime literature, this might be one you should check out.

This book appears to be temporarily out of print, so you might check eBay and see if you can find it there.

Title: The End of the Night
Author: John D. MacDonald
Year: 1960
Pages: 192

The Waking

Four police detectives investigate two seemingly random murders with suspicious scenes. Once they delve into the cases, they realize the murderers may actually be avenging their own deaths. As the night draws on, the police scramble to figure out where the zombies are coming from and how to stop them.

Raven Gregory presents a fresh take on the much-overdone zombie genre. Instead of being mindless, unstoppable brain-eaters, The Waking's zombies are purpose-driven, and die once they've avenged themselves. The crux of the story centers around the source of the resurrections and why all this is happening.

While Drujiniu's pencils aren't spectacular examples of well-done anatomy, I will give him credit for making everyone look different and not recycling faces like a lot of other artists do. The storytelling is above average, only getting hard to follow in some of the action pages. Still, he creates good effects with shadows and conveys the scenes with a good hand. Roberts's colors seem a bit too bright throughout most of the book, but are quite competent.

Still, it's definitely worth reading, especially if you're as tired of zombies as I am.

Available at Amazon.com, Barnes & Noble, and Books-A-Million.

Title: The Waking
Author: Raven Gregory
Artists: Vic Drujiniu and Mark Roberts
Year: 2010
Pages: 124

2012: The War For Souls

There exists three versions of Earth: the one we're accustomed to, a two-moon world with no wars, and another populated by a race of sadistic, reptilian humanoids. As the sacred date of December 21, 2012 approaches, the quantum boundaries separating the three worlds grow weaker. The reptilian world of Abaddon needs souls and resources, and its inhabitants possess the knowledge to overcome the other two worlds if their plans succeed. One human in each of the other two worlds possesses a piece of knowledge to save humanity from a fate beyond death.

Whitley Strieber goes to great lengths in creating a universe where not only bodies can be destroyed, but souls as well. As the story progresses, the two-moon Earth begins to succumb to Abaddon, and the population begins to lose faith entirely. However, humanity's greatest strength is its ability to adapt to a desperate situation and overcome, and a small group of people won't just stand by and let themselves and everything they hold dear be destroyed.

I'm not sure what the hatred of this book is all about. Admittedly, it wasn't the greatest book I've ever read, but it was certainly far from the worst. While there are a few deus ex machina moments in the plot, I thought Strieber had some great imaginary moments, especially as they relate to the world of Abaddon.

I doubt I'd read it again or put it on my list of recommended books, but I certainly didn't hate it.

Available at Amazon.com, Barnes & Noble, and Books-A-Million.

Title: 2012: The War For Souls
Author: Whitley Strieber
Year: 2007
Pages: 319

The Cannibals of Candyland

The gist of the story is that there exists a group of cannibalistic offshoots of humanity that live in a subterranean world where everything is made of candy. Of course, evolution happened this way because the Candy People's favorite food is young children, and children are attracted to candy. Franklin Pierce watched one of the candy cannibals eat his siblings as a child and is seeking to expose and motivate the world into ridding existence of the Candy People. When he follows one down to their world, his plan goes awry, and he finds himself becoming what he hates most!

While Carlton Mellick III has a vivid imagination and a knack for thinking his universes through completely, I wouldn't consider this the best work of his I've read. Earlier I read Sausagey Santa, and that was a much more whacked-out and entertaining read. While this has some good moments, it mostly just drives the plot towards its inevitable conclusion.

It's a fun read, but not Mellick's best.

Available at Amazon.com, Barnes & Noble, and Books-A-Million.

Title: The Cannibals of Candyland
Author: Carlton Mellick III
Year: 2009
Pages: 151

Silent Partner

Written partially as a crime drama and also as a love letter to the author's recently-deceased dog, 'Silent Partner' tells the tale of K-9 detective Jack Davis as he tries to work his way through a series of murders with his near-perfect police dog, a Lab named Keno.

While this book had its good moments, mostly in the characters' dialog, it suffered too much from trying to emulate modern movies. Some of the personal interactions and plot points were very clichéd, and the dogs behaved entirely too perfect for animals. I realize police dogs get a lot of training, but they're still animals with basic animal instincts. In addition, the final scene in the warehouse was absolutely ludicrous and practically undermined everything the book accomplished up until that point.

There are also some severe editing mistakes that occur at two or three different points in the book, which make me wonder if last-minute edits were done, but no proofer was available to clean these up.

Overall, the book is an enjoyable, quick read. If you're just looking for something light that you don't want to have to think about too much, Jennifer Chase's novel should do the trick. If you're one of those people who like more realistic stories, then this book probably isn't up your alley.

Note: This book was received for free through Goodreads First Reads.

Available at Amazon.com, Barnes & Noble, and Books-A-Million.

Title: Silent Partner
Author: Jennifer Chase
Year: 2010
Pages: 308

As Fate Would Have It

Michael Louis Calvillo spins a tale of cannibalism and bad relationships, somehow tying the two together into an entertaining yarn.

The story begins with Heather's first date with the city's rising star chef, Montgomery. The date takes a turn for the worse when she finds out Montgomery only thinks of her as a piece of meat — literally. As it turns out, Montgomery and his tenuous girlfriend Liz have eclectic culinary tastes. Things get complicated when Heather's heroin-addicted friend Ashley plays amateur detective and starts following Montgomery around.

While the book ends on a somewhat anticlimactic note, Calvillo shows his talent in creating an excellent character study on destructive relationships amid the absurdity of cannibalism. The true joy of this book is in Calvillo's use of language and the matter-of-fact tone taken by each of the characters. You truly find yourself sucked in, despite the obvious plot holes.

If you liked the TV show Lost more as a character study than the actual story, then you'll enjoy this book.

Available at Amazon.com and Barnes & Noble.

Title: As Fate Would Have It
Author: Michael Louis Calvillo
Year: 2009
Pages: 289

Shatnerquake

Aside from a few nerdgasmic moments introduced by the author, Jeff Burk, the book consisted primarily of jumping from plot point to plot point to plot point with little room for anything else to transpire.

I'm not a huge fan of long, drawn-out descriptions (Herman Melville, you are evil), but I had a difficult time trying to follow the action at times. You could tell Burk had a picture in his mind of what was happening, but he didn't describe it well enough to convey the events to the reader in order to achieve the full effect.

There was also a severe lack of any kind of characterization in this book, and the few characters that did receive any usually ended up as pointless cannon fodder a few pages later.

The less said about the ending, the better. Judging by other's comments on Goodreads, there seem to be one or more sequels, but on its own, it was rather ambiguous and nonsensical.

This was my first "official" bizarro book, so I'm not quite sure if I'm as qualified to review it as others more familiar with the genre, but this didn't do a whole lot for me.

Title: Shatnerquake
Author: Jeff Burk
Year: 2009
Pages: 100